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I did a stupid thing today. I got to campus, all ready to work -- but I was an hour late because I accidentally slept in. I got all panicky for some reason and e-mailed my boss, saying that I was unable to actually show up today - but was curious if I could make it up tomorrow or Thursday. MAN - I hate that part of me. I get all jumbled up and nervous if I have been reprimanded or anything by a boss - like...I totally freeze up, and figure that I'm going to get yelled at for everything - so I just wig out and need to hole up somewhere to regroup. I'm such a bork. x_x Hopefully Bev will let me make it up - because I could really use the money.
Speaking of that - so Bev wants me to work again starting shortly after Chrimble break. Like the earliest being 1/2. Now, I don't really know what to do here, because I feel like that's not enough time at home - that and I don't really want to upset anyone. I have enough money to cover rent for sure, but not a heck of a lot more than that, to be honest. I could use the money that I would earn by working more - but I don't know what to do at all. Oh Loonhead - what should I do?
This person on mixi has been playing tag with me for a while now - the screen name is ZEBRA. o_o; Yeah - I think it's a guy - but ZEBRA appears to be really nice. For once, I'm not getting badgered to "Teach me English" - he/she/it's just babbling at me about movies and books. Apparently it is strange for foreigners to be reading and enjoying books by Ryu Murakami. See - I thought they were really graphic, but there is a certain charm and awesomeness TO that. Like...I want to say what he wrote about is SEVERE - but he tends to always be ahead of his time with pointing out issues in Japanese society. I have a few of them in Japanese - Topaz, Piercing, and 69. The movie for 69 was pretty freaking sweet.
[Of course I talked to him when he called me a bijin right off the bat. XD I like little ego boosters.]
My life returned has been: Yokunakereba, waruku mo nai. (It's neither good nor bad) Like...I haven't been really SUPER upset like I was when I first got back. I would actually cry. ME - CRY. That's actually an EXTREME rarity. I used to feel my heartbreak because I'd think "Hey, I should go to Fukuoka next... ...oh yeah...I'm in America."
Oh Mennat, do I have TONS of Maura and Jessica updates for you! I think we could take hours, just talking about THAT.
Classes are almost done. Thank Frith. I'm sick of classes. Don't get me wrong - I love Master O and everything. I just...can't....stand classes.
...I should really do work. XD
<end>
- 居場所:Old Main
- 気分:
Mew
America stinks.
I miss Japan.
Ok - now that that is out of my system:
Sorry I've been a bastard and kind of abandoned my Lovelies. Things here are kind of miserable. I managed to catch a cold the day school started, because I kind of suck overall. XD
I started to watch The Sopranos. It's pretty cool.
I also have a new place. :o Cool beans.
Classes kind of suck too.
- 居場所:Sup-Town
- 気分:
bleh - 音楽:Watching the Sopranos
Seriously...
I have a thing typed up on Barry with more information.
I found this internet cafe - it is AMAZING. $20-$40 for a night. I get my own room, own TV, own EVERYTHING - they have a shower, room for TANNING even. I love this place. I found it by following a crow. XD Bad way to find things, I suppose, but it worked this time. Crows are amazing...鴉 ^_~
OMG
I LOVE IT HERE!!! I thought I would feel lonely or sad for Kyushu.
O-M-G.
;_; I don't want to go home.
I will post more when I calm down. XD
Fukuoka HO!
Nagasaki - Fukuoka: $25
Fukuoka - Kobe: $58
Osaka - Tokyo: $42
Only $120 to get where I need to.
The catch is where to stay in Tokyo. I have one friend, and she pretty much sounds like I could stay there for a short while (other friends coming) - but that leaves me with quite some time of NO WHERE to stay. I am thinking I could bring a box cutter and wander around looking for palces to keep me safe. What a lifestyle. (sweat drop) I am excited to go to Tokyo - and I have a few places in the Kansai area to stay for a few days, but I want to get to Tokyo asap - so I will have to be pretty careful about things...and I owe money to Mennat for bailing me out for those god damned packages. *sigh*
What to do, Captain? I am already willing to accept not eating much - only when necessary. The problem is having a safe place to sleep. I have been willing to consider sleeping outside and having a box cutter for protection, but everyone seems to think this is a bad idea. XD I also thought about staying up all night and keeping safe that way - THEN going to libraries and things like that and sleeping for a little bit there.
Not the happiest lifestyle, but in the end, you have to do what you have to, right?
Right.
However - anyone have any ideas that are instant fixes? It'd be super appreciated.
I really don't want to leave Japan now. I don't want to go back to America...I am in this fucky state of wanting to see people and having people who really really REALLY want to see me all excited for my return -- and my own desire of staying in Japan (just not Nagasaki XD) and not wanting to go back to college and leave this place that I am incredibly happy. I can't let most people know how I feel about wanting to stay here, and how packing those boxes seriously depressed me....but I can't force myself to wear this mask of "omg I want to go home" - because anyone who knows me KNOWS it's a lie. (sigh) Tight spot.
/あたし。
完
- 気分:
@_@ - 音楽:the GazettE - CALM ENVY
You know what frustrates the HELL out of me? When I look at the JLPT 2kyuu level sample questions from the past three years and realize that it's just as simple as the reading for the class I am in (and complain about for its simplicity). You know what is even WORSE? By my guess, if I took the JLPT 1kyuu, I'd get at the best a 50. Like I am thinking a 45-55% area.
But...
You need 70% to pass the JLPT level 1.
Why can't life just be awesome and work out? Either make my readings hard to challenge me, or else PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FRITH, TEACH ME ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO FECKING PASS THE 1KYUU!!!!
Frustration with my own lack of ability consumes me.
>_>
Blarg.
/Meより
完
- 気分:
frustrated
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19190916/?GT
I want to talk about this article.
It's describing how it is currently alright for doctors to deny medical treatment for people based on his or her religious beliefs.
My opinion:
I can't take a side on this. For one thing, it's incredibly stupid to take part in any war where you are treading on rights no matter what the outcome is. I personally feel that you cannot take one's right in exchange for another - in this case: abortions vs. belief that it is bad through religion. How can you pick between the woman's right and the doctor's (who may be a woman as well) right to freedom of religion?
In the case of denying a woman a "morning after pill" after being raped - well, I don't know. I think that it's awful, but it's not my decision to make. In the case of deciding that a single woman cannot adopt a child based on marital status is also incredibly low - but I'm not the doctor - I cannot decide these things.
But what about the person who believes in a religion that damns him or her to hell should the life of an infant be taken? What about the Catholics who do not believe in giving birth control? You can't just take their feelings/rights away for the sake of another person.
My solution: FIND A NEW DOCTOR OR GO TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD.
Does that mean I have chosen a side? No - it means that I don't know WHAT should be done, and I don't want people running around preaching at me one way or the other.
What do you all think? I'm curious to discuss, as long as it doesn't turn into a witch hunt.
Hei.
Happy birthday to me on Sunday. Thanks to all of you who acknowledged it - which would be Mennat. まいどありね。
阿呆ら、なんであたしのことをバカにやってるか？！遠慮なく言えば：皆ダイキライだ。阿
もう遅すぎ。もう関係切れたい。もう二度と嫌われてる人と一緒に何かやりたくない。も
もういいよ！
やめてよ！ほっといてよ！かまわないでよ！！ あたしと仲良くなれない、阿呆ら。もう消えろ！
・・・でも、あたし、「皆大嫌いだ」と書けるが、本当は嫌えないということだ。
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
I'm serious. I love it here - but I currently don't want a thing to do with most of these people. There are a few that I still want to talk to and would enjoy being around, but for the most part, I'm done. I'm looking forward to 7/31 or so, when I don't have to see anyone I don't want to anymore. From there, I get to go to Kobe/Kyoto/Osaka to see people I want to -- THEN to Tokyo, where I actually want to be. I won't do anything to change my demeanor to anyone - hell, I barely have anything to do with anyone. I don't want to change that, either. I don't want anyone to be my buddy, I don't want anyone to just be like "man, I didn't know." It doesn't matter to me - it's not everyone that I am annoyed with. Anyone who has me on Facebook doesn't have an excuse - and doesn't livejournal tell you these things.
Shame shame.
This is how I like to be - this IS ME. I am not a loner by nature - but I don't see the point in trying to impress people I don't care about. I don't care about people who don't care about me - so I guess you should all have an idea where that puts you.
By the way - I don't really want to hear a "Happy Birthday" now. It's a little late.
一人にさせてね。
/鴉侍より
独奏家・独裁者
3 people I'm not ready to stop being around/talking to:
推測してください。 It's not Mennat, she actually greeted me on my birthday and spent time with me.
Hilary
Ro
- 気分: frustrated
- 音楽:Frank Sinatra - Send in the Clowns
Ok - enough with my Finnish awesomeness.
I talked to my friend Natose today on the phone - she seemed really excited that she could talk to me! I haven't talked to her in eons, I swear!! Not only that - I know it's pretty damned awesome to talk to me. There is just no way around it - I am amazingly awesome.
Speaking of amazingly awesome:
Master O is coming on Thursday to stay for a few days. On Friday, he is giving a lecture during second hour. It would be a favor to me, and it'd be a great experience for all of YOU to go see it. Why, you ask? Because Master O is amazing. He is really just one of the COOLEST people I have ever met in my life, and he's so smart and fun to talk to. I'm excited - I get to drag him around Nagasaki!!!!
<end of 知らせ>
I went to Fukuoka this weekend. It was pretty amazing - I wore the shoes I obtained when I was there. They make me incredibly tall, which makes me even MORE awesome than I was before. Arimatsu said I looked pretty and all dolled up. XD I was barely wearing make up, so my face looked like absolute HELL - but I take compliments when I get them with great grace and dignity...especially from someone who doesn't really like me. Does that NOT make me even MORE cool? Come on. I am awesome.
I have a lot to do, because I have *TONS* of crap to do recently -- and I am losing days to Master O's visit!!! X3 <3
/天上天下唯我独尊より
完
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分:
ワクワクしてる - 音楽:The Rasmus - Rakkauslaulu
So my Dears -- I hope you all are well.
I am currently obsessed with this song! I am posting the lyrics in Japanese, because there is VERY few kanji at all, and I assume everyone can essentially read it. ^_^
( little Fat Man boy )
I'd translate it - but I never post my translations anywhere that MATTERS in the end, so I don't usually bother. Not only that, I've had some baaad experiences in the past. (aka - "Hey, you don't know me, but translate like 10 songs for me kthanxbye" or "Hey, join our fansubbing group - you do all the translations and stuff...and yeah.") >_< I would like to get my name out there again, but meh. I guess I'm not 150% confident in my ability. (Only about 120% at the moment ^^) I just translated ALL of Angelo's newest album - it's quite amazing.
Anyway:
Things around Nagasaki are alright. With my money problems, I'm even LESS social than I was before. Well - before, it was not to be said that I was anti-social and hated everyone, thought it probably seemed it. ^^; It was never that I hated everyone...it was more that I did not connect to anyone because I felt very...different from everyone. I still do, but I have made some connections. (*^-^*) I am a person who is perfectly fine on my own completely - and I can sometimes feel like friends are restrictions...and if there is ANYTHING I hated as a child (and now), it's restrictions.
Oh - I have declared war against one of my teachers. >_> Kuroda. She's going to get shown up by me somehow, if it's the last thing I do...
XDDD Ok - now it's time to listen to Madonna. Does anyone else watch Stella comedy?! Watch this, my loves:
Ok - that's all for now. XD Watch and discuss.
/Kzam
完
- 気分:
Wee! - 音楽:LM.C - little Fat Man boy
Hello world - how are you all on this lovely, cold Nagasaki night? It's a mere 72 degrees in here, and I'm frozen. (Shut up, I don't care if I'm from Northern Minnesota - it's cold in here)
I'm personally not in the best of ways, I'm afraid. I was ill last night - for me it was disgusting and D8 -- but in reality, it was nothing big. Mentally - I have felt a bit better about my puppy. He's still not back, but I have faith that he's still alive. Had he been picked off by something, we would've found signs of a fight. He is young (only 4 months old), and he was well-fed when he lived with us. There is no reason to think that he would lose very quickly in a fight. I personally think he either wandered onto someone's land and is now being taken care of by that person, or else he was just flat out picked up and taken away. He is young and incredibly cute and sweet...he also loved to go bye-bye-car. (sigh) My dad said he is sure that if Walter is not being taken care of by another family, he has died and is no longer suffering. My dad is retired and spends all day with the dogs...so I am sure that what Dad said is right. His connection to Walter would be the strongest, and mine the weakest.
Money is still an issue, of course. After Goldenweek, I'll make some calls to check out if anyone that Seb recommended to me has any openings for a sob story like me. (sigh) I am also doing some Japanese tutoring -- it's cheap, and the price varies by the person. I take a lot of things into consideration...but at the most I would charge 2000 yen per lesson. Considering that my host family and others have told me I could charge a LOT more than that, I think it's fair. I just need to get my name out there, so I can get some jobs. x_x;; I'm still offering to do Japanese homework for money - that'd also depend on how much homework I was to do...
It's so close to when I have to go back to the States, I can barely stand it. How those of you who were here for only a semester could even stand to leave, I don't know. It's been months and months, and I have no real desire to go back. I miss some people, I suppose...but I can't say honestly that there is this burning desire in my chest to see them again. I never really felt like I got along too well in America...not to say that "Oh I belong here" - but I was raised as a Finn in America, really. Everyone around me was either Finnish, Swedish, or Norwegian. Sometimes you'd get a random Dane or something - but as a general rule, it was always Scandinavia...and the people around there were just as you'd expect. They were not really American, not really Finnish. It's the same with me. I may be 3rd generation Finnish American...but...=/ ま、意味ない。 I have not been so happy in any other place...except the closest would be NYC. It's not to say that I hate America or anything - even though I am not a fan...it's not that I hate it. It's just that I don't fit in as well, socially. Here, physically I'm incredibly different, but the society itself somewhere fills in a spot that is completely gone in America...but is in Finland. Does that make sense? Ma, probably not...I'll just stop with that. You'll all start to think I'm just a Wapanese. ^^;; The point of this paragraph is that I don't want to go to America again. ^^;
Maybe just a strange mood has come...というか・・・
/鴉より
完
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分: ぼちぼち
- 音楽:久石譲 - となりのトトロ
I finished reading Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World today. All in all a good book. Murakami's style of writing is very interesting - I rather enjoy it. Other than that, I cleaned up and neatly organized my drawers. I have too many pairs of pants for my own good - perhaps I'll send a few home when I make my massive boxes of death (aka my stuff I don't need to survive) and kill post office with glorious *WELL-TAPED* sea mail-y goodness. (not to be confused with C-mail, because Frith KNOWS how I'd manage to send almost all of my crap through THAT)
Oh - I also watched 生きる by Kurosawa Akira, 風の谷のナウシカ, and...9 Souls this weekend. Ikiru is really good, but it's SO depressing at the same time. It's about a guy who has stomach cancer (胃癌) and decides to start living his life after he finds out. The people who work at his office are asshats. >_< 9 Souls is really good as well - a movie about 9 convicts who escape from their prison and go to Mt. Fuji, then back to Tokyo. It has one of my favorite actors, Matsuda Ryuuhei. ↑ And I assume most have seen Nausicaa. It's one of my favorite Miyazaki flicks. <3
I did laundry the other day. Yeah. It was nice. Clean clothes are always a plus.
=/ Maybe I'm going back to sleep...
/鴉より
完
- 気分: めっちゃ心配！
- 音楽:車が走る音
Status report:
Classes are going well. I really have nothing to complain about except I really don't want to take business, management, or literature classes...I can't stand Mark, and I already took business/econ, didn't I? Isn't THAT good enough?! >_< One would think so, but meh. Japanese class is going alright. It's not hard at all, really - but I think the reading class will kick up a level now, starting this week (or at least here's hoping). The essay he picked for us was interesting, yes, but simplistic compared to what we should be doing at this level. I really dislike Kuroda. She's kind of a face, to say the least. The new Korean teacher is ok, but she gave the dumbest homework last week. Arimatsu - heh, she's....there. XD Marra's culture class is alright. I can't complain too loudly.
Financially, this little dictator is in a 大ピンチ.... I have about $1100 to last me until August 17th.
Oh - funny story about that: That was the soonest date we came to realize I could leave Japan. ^^ Great.
Anyway - so I am going to be spending from 8/4 ~ 8/17 in Tokyo...thankfully I have at least one friend who lives there who offered to put me up for a while. That is expensive. I could barely live in NAGASAKI off of this much money, much less Tokyo. So yep - BIG pinch...it's not like my parents have any money lying around to help me...so I am thinking of ways to obtain funds at any price.
Thus, for those of you who read this:
☆If you have Japanese friends interested in tutoring in English, send them to me! Hell - I'll do anyone's Japanese homework for money - all I ask is for money for doing it!!! m(_ _)m I'm at the end of my rope...help me, PLEASE. ;_;
That's all, really.
/KZamより
完
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分: みょ～
- 音楽:引田香織 - みちゆき
Discuss.
- 気分:
amused
読んでいる人へ
やっとアップデートしてるね、皆嬉しくなるかもしれぬけど、日本語しか書いてなくてご
最近、気に入った事がある。皆は能力レベルを越えているらしいね。吃驚しているわけじ
私にとって、成績は「レベルの名前」より大切な事だ。☆全然分からなかったら、何も習えない☆も当たり前筈だったけど、あの人達がそう思ってないみたいね。担当者じゃないから本当
絶対喰っちゃう。
/鴉より
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分:
決めちゃった。 - 音楽:何もない。
Things in Nagasaki are going well. Classes started (as anyone who reads other people's blogs will know lala), and things are going alright. The campus upgraded on us - wireless! w00t! I bet I can totally use Barry while sitting in boring, lame classes. (rubs chin thoughtfully) Ok, I'd only use it during business and econ - but I don't even want to take the damned classes again. Curse you, Jasin program! (Wow, I'm all down with the cursing lately)
I have finally gotten the boot in my ass to study again for the JLPT. I'm really hoping to see an improvement, because if possible, I'd LOVE to go for the 1kyuu. I'm not saying I'm ANYWHERE near being able to DO it, but MAN, I'd love to try it.
I have to admit...I like YamaP. >_> Don't you judge me. He's awesome. He owns your faces. XD
Ok, that's all for now. I'm tired. ;_;
/Kzamより
完
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分:
zzzz - 音楽:山下智久 - 抱いてセニョリータ
Brett君 has returned to Japan, as has Jim. Brett was stuck in Narita for many hours (should be in Fukuoka now, if not sooner) - and Mennat, Miho, さんさん, and I went to go eat with Jim at that one yakiniku place across the way from wakatakemaru. We WERE going to go to eat susi, but you wouldn't BELIEVE the line we had to wait through. @_@
It ended up in the Colonel being caneless.
On a less fortunate note, your beloved 鴉侍 has become injured somehow. I am not sure if it's arthritis or what, but my left ankle (no surprises there) hurts SO badly to walk. Hobbling even to Shouya is difficult (
Spring is supposed to be coming soon. >_> HURRY UP, DAMN YOU - IT'S COLD HERE! (shakes fist at the sky)
I have started to watch Live Action Sailor Moon again. It's amazing - I suggest it to all of you. <3<3<3<3<3<3 I also have read all that I can of Loveless. >____> RELEASE MORE MANGA, YOU SMARMY BASTAGE!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN!!
Anyway, ending this - back to the show.
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分: (yawn)
- 音楽:The theme song to Sailor Moon
It's just that nothing is really going on. I COULD make up some fabulous lies, I suppose.
We'll take a vote. Who wants to hear what is REALLY going on, and who wants to hear fabulous lies?
/Lより
完
- 居場所:Kane's Keep
- 気分: amused
- 音楽:Kra - artman
Haven't been up to much.
Not much やる気 to do this...at least in English.
あたし、ぼちぼちやわで。
- 気分: みょー
- 音楽:The Beatles - You Never Give Me Your Money
In other news, it's cold. Really cold...and in order to avoid turning on the (expensive) heater of love, I crawled into bed to warm up...which worked wonderfully, until I fell asleep for probably 20-30 minutes. I fell asleep during 蜷局 and woke up during さらば...so maybe even longer than I thought. @_@;;; Either way, I ate too much at Yoshinoya - yes, I finally went.
Tonight, we go to Joyfull. It is my first ever voyage...I am not sure what to expect. Everyone tells me good things - even Mr. Cool himself. X) Either way, I am looking forward to it.
(stretches) I'm a bit sore - but I started doing my exercises again, now that I won't freeze to the floor if I attempt to do them here. Thank Frith for carpets...hardwood is pretty and all, but fucking COLD as hell. >_< (according to Dante, of course)
Speaking of Satan, Hitomi mailed me a few times. >_> Wtf....she was trying to tell me that this god damned watch that they found was mine, when I said "no, I didn't bring a watch to Japan" o_o;;
Anyway, gonna go now. Just thought I'd...say something?
/Lより
完
- 気分:
@_@ - 音楽:ガゼット - 菫 -sumire-
